Sometimes I think I'm doomed to never be happy when it comes to relationships. My fifth love is a long story. I met her in 1996, she was dating one of my other friends on & off and I had an almost immediate crush. She knew I liked her and she liked to tease me, but the truth was she didn't really like me enough to date me. Then we lost contact for a few years.
We reconnected in 2002, I saw her at the Renaissance Festival and we traded phone numbers. I honestly didn't know if I'd hear from her again or not, but a couple weeks later she called me while I was at a concert festival called Livestock. It just happened that when she called I was packing up and getting ready to leave and we agreed to meet up and hang out later that night. I don't remember what we did, but I do remember that she still smoked at this point.
Now during that in between time, she had gotten pregnant and then married to the same guy from 1996. When we reconnected she wasn't divorced yet, but the paperwork had been filed. Her son was 3 when we started hanging out again.
So after that first night of hanging out, I won tickets on the radio to a comedy club and invited her to go with me. Her response was, "Really? You want me to go with you?" I didn't understand why I wouldn't want her to go with me, after all she was my friend and we had fun hanging out. At this point I was still attracted to her, but didn't really have any interest in dating her, she was still smoking and trying to piece her life back together.
She was staying at her parent's house but they didn't really want her there and she kept having arguments with her ex over custody , etc. Her ex was dating this girl that was brain-washing her son into thinking that she was his real mom. They even went so far as to call child services on her for things that weren't true. I'm not going to say that she was squeaky clean or the perfect mother, but she was not guilty of the things they were accusing her of.
Child services had her take a drug test and she ended up admitting to smoking marijuana. Immediately after this point, she quit smoking that and cigarettes. She also started staying at my house, sleeping on the couch. I've had lots of my friends stay with me during their time of need. I like helping people if I can. After a few nights of her sleeping on the couch she was complaining that her back was killing her from sleeping there (I admit it was not a good couch to sleep on). So, I offered that she could sleep in my bed with me and that I would not try anything or lay a finger on her. After having so many bad experiences with men in her past, she felt it was necessary to give me the third degree about how she is not interested in dating me and I better not lay a finger on her or try anything. All of this was fine with me, as far as I was concerned it was just a place to sleep and I told her so. I'm not sure that she believed me, but she decided to sleep next to me anyways.
After two or three nights of sleeping next to me and me not laying so much as a finger on her or trying anything, I woke up to her kissing me. Who am I to stop a pretty woman from kissing me when I'm single? Basically she had never had someone be so nice to her ever before and she couldn't believe that I didn't try anything with her sleeping next to me. Apparently it affected her.
Now what I was not aware of at this time was how damaged she was from the things that other men had done to her over the years and her first boyfriend worst of all. Since she was already staying with me and sleeping in my bed, this didn't change after we started dating, except that now we were dating and living together. She officially moved in and moved her stuff in. I quickly realized that something was wrong, she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night from terror nightmares and it would take me hours to get her to calm down and go back to sleep. Also, she wouldn't wear any clothes with bright colors. Dark colors is all she would wear because she felt like anything else drew attention to her and people would stare. It took some coaxing, but she finally started wearing bright colors and eventually the nightmares stopped (this took much longer).
We started dating in May and by August I asked her to marry me.
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